Me & I are going crazy hot
Yes, I know a week you can hear nothing from me and then ^ is 2 Entries in a day. ^ But I must now simply write from the soul, perhaps improves, maybe I win this distance.
I have to be a feeling that is really crazy. I feel damn schizophrenic today, my head constantly argues with itself - no actually he is only talking to me, and I am still.
"I hate, I hate myself, you deserve not to live it, you worthless, what are you actually that you did not deserve" this Sentences circling in my head, over and over again and I do not know how long I could stand for that yet. I want to hear no more, no longer feel. Why can not stop time at last?
I used to always stunned with binge eating, but for now I just do not know how I can bring the design to stop. In the end I leave it again at the dinner, just the other way around, I eat less, save one on every corner, so at least not to my bitches eating disorder, I would eat would be excessive, fat etc.
I still beat the war crisis - right now I really just wanted me I would die so I can not hear these voices must, as with everything else I know sooner or later they come back again anyway.
Is it doomed again because too much to ask to be able to live a normal life? Without all of this crap, this constant struggle against the desire for death, the self-hatred, the eating disorder? I hate it when people always say "you are so strong," I too have my limits, I may have to be robust and endure much, but I also have limits and I can, no I will not be so easy living. I do not want every day to fight again, I'm tired, exhausted, drained. I want my peace.
I must first get out here now, in the city, the shops , Stroll brings me to perhaps at least temporarily to other thoughts.
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